Black brick in a red wall

Mrzi drogu, ne podnosi cigare, popit ponekad. Malo cudna, vise luda, nije uzor, al makar je zabavna. Zivotinje i priroda, putovanja. Instagram: zexxy_photography


....I am sad.

I am sad. No Im fine. Nothing good comes easy. If its easy then I dont want it. And among my lies "Im fine" is my favourite. And theres always what if factor. Because things change. But ....what if...they dont? Idk how or if i can be proud that hes finally giving up more and more. Not sure if he cares less or if hes genuinely learning...or hes just forced by me. And idk which is worse honestly. But whatever happens between us. Hes learning. Maybe not what im trying to teach but hes realising something for sure. Damn allergies. Neighbor is watching anime. Its disturbing my thoughts. Im seeing "how are you feeling?" On my screen. Without wish ti express myself anywhere but here...Im fine. Its the kind of pain of not knowing if feeling will change but willingness to take the gamble a s i always do with people, hoping for the best possibke outcome. "Are you really?" Yes, I feel great. *proceeds to cry* ahahahahaha. Ahh its not hiding my feelings cuz idk im scared of something. Im hiding my pain so he could move on....and then come back? Idk man idk anymore. Like i dont want him to move on but i do? Id be in great fucking pain just pure evil. Id say devils descend but i rly am the devil. Im seriously wondering if neighbor is watching anime or hentai at this point haha. "Ne bih da ti kvarim srecu" u pm ti si moja sreca uff zivote. Keep telling myself dont cry little bitch but shit gets out of hand sometimes. I think no matter what i tell him...deep down he knows how i feel. Whats for breakfast? Tears and bitterness. But its needed.

Black brick in a red wall
<< 03/2019 >>



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